The Pattern

Verbal abuse is not obvious at times… but according to some empirical studies on it,

 THERE'S A PATTERN… 

Very similar and constant…

Repetitive and targeted,

Well recognised only by the victim.... because of THE PATTERN

Multiple shaming sent through jokes seems petty, 

yet the targeted victim always knew…

Abuser knows when they abuse… 

waiting for the right time and word to pounce!

It's a game they play, 

and the victim's reaction would satisfy their darkest desire to HURT and rise in POWER and control...

Avoid responding

Avoid reacting

You are not playing the game in the first place…

Let the devil play their own game

Leave the devil’s tongue to itself…. 

Seek refuge from Allah..

From getting involved in one…

Or becoming one..

p/s:

From Patrick Jane's perspective, please pity these abusers, 

as they've become who they are, due to a rough childhood trauma and similar abuse...

or probably,

an entrenched habit...  

sheeshhh... what a bad precedent!!

tauba tauba

Rezeki Doa...

Dalam waktu menadah tangan seusai zohor tadi,

This familiar face appeared in my thoughts... smiling, walking across the shops with his faded old and saggy knapsack filled with madu hanging on his back... 

I couldn't help it... terus teringat-ingat

Whom I met again yesterday...

Tak selalu terjumpa, tapi memang akan jumpa di kedai-kedai makan..

Selling honey...

Straw-honey..

bottled honey..

Sometimes ubat-ubat sapu kampung...

But mainly HONEY...

"Madu...madu... madu.." katanya

 I said to him yesterday... "bang nak madu straw!"

"Alahai tinggal botol aje".... he smiled and almost laughed..... 

just a sign, that he knows, that I knew him from some place...

I have a fond memory of him, 

giving honey sticks to kids for free if the family won't buy..

and memory of me getting some for free, and sometimes I'd buy..

and memory of Kak Hasnor chatting and buying some for her kids when we're dining together...

and memories of just seeing him randomly stopping his motorcycle, going around selling his honey in random restaurants...

a kind man... 

these memories stretched all the way back to my teenage years (still at school)...

a very long time... right?

His hair has turned pretty grey when I saw him yesterday and it changed his whole facial appearance quite a bit.... 

I wouldn't recognise him yesterday if he didn't say "madu madu madu"....

Then I made dua for him.......... 

I made dua to Allah to bless his life and family...

Suddenly!

I cried out of nowhere... 

pelik dan benar...

Mungkin Allah rezekian dia dapat kebaikan dalam doa-doa mereka yang melihat dia... 

atas kebaikan dia,,, 

atas kesabaran dia... 

dan atas amalan dia.. 

Intinya: 

Semoga Allah rezekikan kita juga dalam lubuk hati orang-orang yang beriman....

Kita selalu ucapkan "ingat daku dalam doamu" pada majlis perpisahan...

Lupa pula nak minta pada Pencipta hati,  untuk me-rezekikan diri kita dalam doa-doa hambanya yang beriman.... 

Padahal Allah yang mnggerakkan hati-hati... kan..

P/s: 

Baru-baru ini, usai majlis dua sahabat yang akan pulang berkhidmat di kampung halaman masing-masing.... Sahabat yang sangat baik...  dan dikenali ramai dengan kebaikkannya...

Fidah yang cekap mengurus tugasan kerja dan anak-anak, dan suka ingat-mengingatkan..

Zafirah pula yang tenang dan cermat dalam urusan dan tutur kata...

Rupa-rupanya manusia ini dirindukan pada kebaikan akhlak, hati dan perilaku…

Bukan wajah yang cantik semata-mata...

Kan?

But for these two friends, pakej cantik dan baik.. 

Wsalam...

 

How to annoy any Mamak waiter..

Any mamak will hate it when you say this..

Anney, nasi bagi separuh.... 

lagi kurang.....

kurang lagi...... 

*they will react*

Ayyo, apa macam ini makan kakak?!!

p/s: mission accomplished!!

Inferens universal mamak:

Semakin banyak nasi dan lauk yang di oder,

semakin bahagia mamak yang mencatat oder..

cubalah... lol

Books are Foods of different origins.....

Books are foods..

Fiction novels are cakes and desserts of different tastes...
Factual readings are coffee and tea..
Academic readings are milk and sugar...
Everything in between is just side dishes from different origins...

You are welcome to tailor your very own "book" menu, 
as the above solely came from my very own mind-pallate..

Too much cakes and desserts are unhealthy..
Leaving coffee and tea, is the greatest adulthood lost..
Milk and sugar make everything taste better...
Life is too mundane without the fun of adding side dishes to the main course...

a little bit of everything is life

p/s: too much on the phone now..... busy running through the attention-notification-seeker...

got it? 

attention-noti-seeker? 

attention-seeker?

lol..

May Allah Guide......

 There's a constant longing for a peaceful and breathable space in life lately.

Generations of my age are now in the phase of desiring more 'zen' than agitation..

High influxes in big cities... crowded by people with dreams and hopes to live life better, 

and I thought of turning away from this crowded space for the same intention..

to live in a small town, 

after retired.. 

or until retired?

Still thinking...

May Allah guide...

p/s: I would usually unwind myself in small towns where my sister and late father once lived in....  

If family members come over to my place to take their mind off of things.... just sounds so much better, doesn't it... but I'm not there yet~

-random thought-

Couldn't get my eyes off it...

The tendency of any (regardless of age) 'singles' to spend some free time online-browsing for bride-related topics is very common. I'm included!

Until I came across this small nikah ceremony of a Lebanese groom who has lost his sight and fingers due to the Israeli attacks. I stopped browsing... literally holding back my tears..

I was...

shocked by the caption about the groom,

awed by the beauty of his bride,

drowned by their affections towards each other,

amazed by the small, simple yet meaningful celebration that touches many hearts, including mine..

She is now officially his eyes.. and owned his heart~

Married or not... this photo somehow comforts me...

He was at the brink of his death, but by Allah's decree, they were brought together...

May Allah bless them both...

p/s: she has a smile to die for tho~

To survive the unspoken pain

Bukan semua masalah ada jalan penyelesaiannya...

Ada yang hanya mampu diurus dan tidak akan hilang...

(as a form of reward on our patience and perseverence in life)

Eradicating a painful-some company is not as easy as throwing away unwanted things... 

To survive one person, surrounded by others you love dearly, is a conflict that only you could quietly hold to yourself...

Macam Rasulullah yang berpengalaman pahit dengan kejahatan Abu Jahal ...  namun itu tidak  menghilangkan kasihnya pada Ikrimah

Konflik perlu diselesaikan dengan komunikasi matang, cuma ' It doesn't work on everybody'...

At times, diam, redha, memangis, maafkan, mohon perlindungan Allah dari sifat-sifat 'pelik' tu, lebih mendamaikan jiwa ....